Black Women, “Think Like A What?”

Act like a man
Act Like a Man is now America's number one movie

So…..last night I went to go see “Think Like A Man” and of course it was packed in the theater. Without revealing the movie for those that desire to see it, I will write on what stood out to me the most. Basically the premise of the movie is that the Women are dissatisfied with their current relationships or are seeking new ones, and Steve Harvey’s book serves as their compass . The movie was VERY heavy with product placement, I mean those books were everywhere! The women’s characters were in deep study! I am talking highlighters and everything! Allow me to introduce some of the characters to you.

Miss Nine Years: One of the characters in the movie was in a relationship with her man for nine years and she was getting impatient and was ready for marriage. Ladies this is what happens when you go ahead and “play house” with your man. YOU end up getting played! Anyway Miss Nine Years reads the book and follows Steve’s “advice” and attempts to “require” a marriage   proposal by redecorating their home, still playing the role of wifey and all those wifely duties, and encourages him to seek a better job. Again this is a means to get a ring…after nine years. NINE years.

Miss Ninety Days-The Ninety Day rule is something that I will NEVER agree with or promote, as that is a DIRECT contradiction of God’s rule which is wait until marriage, and I also have an issue with calling my womb(and yours) a cookie. Really Sisters…..a cookie…but ok.  I know in both the movie and the book Mr. Harvey makes fornication fair seeming by comparing your(our) womb to Ford, a fortune 500 company, and since that  method has proven to be successful for them, why not implement it in your life? The problem with that is these “benefits” only come AFTER marriage. In the movie Miss Ninety Days decides to make that her standard for her next relationship, though she is willing to “amend” the rule if she is told “I love you” which she is, so the ninety day rule hit the floor, and their clothes fell right behind it.

She’s Got Her Own-Now I will say this character displayed the “Successful Single Woman Syndrome” a lot of us seem to suffer from. You know the type. A man is defined by HER accomplishments; C-E-O is how she spells man. At any rate she meets who she thinks is a successful Brother(he has no choice but to come clean with her eventually) and he wines and dines her via a “hook up” and they have sex on the first date. And they continue to have a lot of sex. I mean they get to know each other along the way, but they have a lot of sex, and the message that it sends is that she really couldn’t walk away because the sex was so good. During the course of the movie, she reunites with a man that fits her list perfectly, but she realizes what looks good on PAPER doesn’t necessarily look good in PERSON. I appreciated that aspect of the movie because there are a lot of Brothers that are passed by on a daily basis, because they don’t fit unrealistic criteria, especially in this financial condition. Maybe that character will inspire more Sisters to adjust their lists along with that particular line of thinking.

Married to His Mama-This character was dealing with a Mama’s Boy and again this is an issue in our community. There are two types of Mama’s Boys. The first type, lives at home with his mother and he is still in his thirties, he doesn’t really need to work because his mother takes care of him, cooks and cleans and does  his laundry so in essence his mother has made her son her MAN due to the lack of actually having a man. The second type makes His way out of her house, and into  his own, but his mother still caters to him, and of course no woman will ever be good enough. The Brother’s character was the second type of Mama’s boy. When we engage in this type of behavior all we do is stifle our son’s growth and development. We weaken them; make them lazy and nurse the inability to be self-sufficient. This is what the character had to battle in the movie, an over bearing, can’t take my place mother. She didn’t want to compete with his mother and for good reasons. If a man can’t place the women in his life in proper ranking order, you’ve already lost.

Eventually the men in the movie realize the women have been reading Steve’s book and decide to use his words to their advantage (a la “Two Can Play That  Game”) but eventually end up “busted”……and that’s where I will stop.
Kevin Hart’s character kept the crowd laughing with his jokes, I heard women agreeing with various parts of the movie, and because his book was a best seller, I am sure this movie will do well at the theaters. I suppose many can’t wait to see the words they have lived by come to life.

Steve Harvey said that his goal is to empower women, by giving us a glimpse into the male psyche. In this movie, will there be characters that you can relate to? Of course? You might see yourself or someone you know being accurately portrayed. But Sisters, let’s be honest. If there was a book out telling men to think like women and men were buying it in DROVES, we would be giving them some serious side eye, because we want our men to think, walk and talk as a MAN should right? Well  they want the same thing from US……I really don’t know any Men that wants a woman that thinks like a man. To be honest I  we’ve  tried the “men role” already.

We tried to be the head of the house (how is that working for us?), we have tried to control the men in our lives (ummmm did that work out for you. No? Oh ok) we’ve told our children that we are both the “mother and the father” though we are ONLY ONE. So if we really think about it……attempting to “be the man or think as a man in the relationship” hasn’t proven to be successful….so how about thinking as a WOMAN should? I’m just saying I would be kind of leery of what type of man I attract while I am THINKING like a man. In my humble opinion, women don’t need to think like men. Just BE and think like the WOMAN you ARE. The LAST thing a man wants is a woman thinking like him. Anytime you are confused about what you are or how you should think….just look down. tadaaa! There’s your answer!

By; Nojma Muhammad