Is The Color Of One’s Partner A Random Choice? One Woman’s Research Reveals The Truth

Is The Color Of One’s Partner A Random Choice? One Woman's Research Reveals The Truth
Black Brazilians are encouraged to date outside their race

AFRICANGLOBE – Interracial relationships. Yes, we’ve talked about them before, but the conversation has been expanding for a number of years. With the rise of Black consciousness among Afro-Brazilians, more and more Black women are questioning the reason why it seems that all the Black men around them have white wives or girlfriends. Are these women exaggerating? Blowing the issue out of proportion? In reality one doesn’t have to do any deep research on this topic to get an idea. In numerous Afro-Brazilian oriented social networking communities the topic seems to come up every week. And even within these groups, the debate is generally divided between those who see a dangerous trend that threatens to end the existence of Brazilians of dark skin color and a a strong identification with whiteness within the Black community and those who believe that race has no place in discussions of relationships or the cliche “love has no color”.

As we continue to explore this issue, we push aside accusations by some that anyone who supports the union of Black men and Black women must be some sort of Hitlerite racist who hates interracial couples. It’s often amazing how people who have that view often times will avoid the serious questions involved in the discussion, a fact that we will analyze in more depth in a future post. The Brazilian discourse that “we are all mixed” and “racism is not a problem” does not seem to want to analyze some of the very thought-provoking essays/articles written by Black women who feel the brunt of an apparent preference of Black Brazilian men for white women. For example, analyzing her lifelong loneliness, Caroline Louise wrote the following:

Talking to a friend about our difficulties of fixed relationships, at one point she said ‘I know that as much as I study, create my independence, I will hardly get married, I realize I’ll never be as good as a white woman in those conditions.’ It was with great sadness that I heard those words, because in the end it seems that that’s right. I spent years of my life trying to understand what was wrong with me, questioning how other girls that were not even so pretty and not so interesting had such ease in having relationships.

Interestingly, the actress Taís Araújo, who is considered one of the most beautiful Black women (1) in Brazil, revealed that as a teen, she “never dated in school, and for me that was normal”. Considering these conversations and thoughts among many of Brazil’s Black women, we cannot allow accusations of “wanting to create segregation in Brazil” deflate a growing debate. The numerous debates on the topic perhaps prove that this conversation will not be going away anytime soon. Contributing to the dialogue, one woman decided to delve into the topic by doing her own research to see what results would appear.

The Solitude Of The Black Woman And The Everyday Racism

I was there in tranquility when I decided to seek (still more) examples close to a phenomenon that persists, is little discussed and perhaps stronger every day, which is the omission of the Black woman. Or “racism without racists, section: woman” (feel free to name it in your own way).

It was a simple work, executable in ten or fifteen minutes without demanding much effort. Worthy of who tries to avoid fatigue, like me. The work consisted, basically, in opening my contact list on WhatsApp and quantifying my family and friends with known “marital status”. I found 21 committed men of which only three had Black wives or girlfriends.

I inform you that my primary focus was Black men – because I’ll bet a kidney how the chosen one will be white every time I see many of them committed – but I ended up expanding the observation and also accounting for white men and lesbians. Among men, I counted 9 Blacks and 12 whites, already among lesbians (three), all were white, just like their girlfriends.

Maybe I was not satisfied with the result and went there to check out Instagram. I used the same criteria (do you have a girlfriend, wife or partner? How many, among them are Black?). There I counted another 20 men (excluding those that are in common with the WhatsApp list), of whom only 2 had a Black girlfriend/wife (2).

Maybe again I had not been satisfied with the result, and, realizing that I followed a few famous (people) on Instagram, I decided to take a brief stroll through the accounts of some “celebrities” for the sake of observation. This time just I observed only Black men – pop singers, actors, athletes. I would like you take shot at the result of that search. I could have one, to close my downward curve right, but no. Ten out of ten Black men surveyed are dating or are married to white women.

Talking to a friend about this, she wondered “could it be that none of these guys look to the sides in the group of friends and wonder,” ‘why is it that there are only white women here?” I think not. Not because, under its logic itself, all that are there are following a standard. My family and friends on Whatsapp and Instagram don’t let me lie. Could the color of the affective partner be a random choice? A thing only of the heart? Answer: no. It is NOT possible to credit only a personal choice for white wives and girlfriends.