The REAL Reason Women Are Cheating As Much As Men

The REAL Reason Women Are Cheating As Much As Men
Women are very good at keeping secrets

AFRICANGLOBE – “Researching women’s sexuality for more than ten years, I can honestly say that most of our societal beliefs about females are grossly distorted and many are completely erroneous.”

-Michelle Langley, author of Women’s Infidelity

Women’s relationships today follow a very predictable pattern:

  • push men for commitment
  • They get what they want

  • They lose interest in sex

  • They become attracted to someone else

  • They start cheating

  • They become angry and resentful

  • They begin telling their partners that they need time apart

  • They blame their partners for their behavior…and eventually, after making themselves and everyone around them miserable for an indefinite, but usually, long period of time, they end their relationships or marriages     

If you’re a male, like most other males, you would probably never suspect that your partner is cheating, not only because of your wife’s or girlfriend’s seeming disinterest in sex; but also because you have the belief that your wife or girlfriend is a “good girl.”  Unfortunately, males are frequently left/divorced by their wives and girlfriends without ever knowing about their wives’ and girlfriends’ infidelities.

If you’re a female, like most other females, prior to cheating on your partner you always proclaimed yourself to be “not the type” who would ever cheat.  However, also like most other femalesafter they have cheated, you’re shocked and appalled by your behavior; but at the same time you can’t stop cheating. 

Women’s relationships and marriages will continue to follow this same pattern unless we develop an accurate understanding of females  particularly in regard to their sexuality.  In fact, after researching women’s sexuality for more than ten years, I can honestly say that most of our societal beliefs about females are grossly distorted and many are completely erroneous.

The media has finally begun to acknowledge, albeit to a small degree, the widespread problem of female infidelity. Recently, several books and articles have attempted to explain why women are now cheating as much as men.  However, none were successful in their attempt. All of them left out very important pieces to this extremely complicated puzzle. I believe the majority were simply unable to find all of the information necessary to figure out the problem.

Although, I’m certain that some were just afraid to disclose certain key pieces of information because the truth, quite frankly, is so contrary to our current beliefs. Unfortunately, without these missing pieces, it’s impossible to understand, and to subsequently fix, the real problem occurring in relationships today.

My Story:

Shortly after my 27th  birthday, I began to feel very different. I had been happily married for 4 years and then, suddenly out of nowhere, I began feeling bored and unhappy. In an attempt to figure out what was causing my unhappiness, I looked for answers in books, tried to talk to my Mother and eventually went to see a psychologist. All of the information I received attributed the way I was feeling to my husband, and similar to the majority of women, I began to view my husband as the culprit too.

Currently, Women Are Initiating 70 – 75% of All Divorces

Later, through my own research, I discovered that what I was experiencing was quite normal.  In fact, women are the most likely to divorce in their late twenties and thirties after an average of 4 years of marriage.  During this time, it’s quite common for women to experience a pre-midlife crisis, which is similar to the male midlife crisis, only with an important difference – a difference that can actually make women more likely to cheat than men.           

The “stages that women often experience during the course of their long-term relationships                           

Several years into my research I was able to identify distinctive patterns and behaviors in the women I interviewed.  I categorized these into four separate “stages” that women often experience during the course of their long-term relationships. The stages begin with a loss of sexual desire.

Stage 1

Women at Stage 1 feel as though something is missing in their lives. They have all the things that they wanted—a home, a family, a great husband—but they feel they should be happier. Over time, many women in this stage begin to lose interest in sex. It is not uncommon for them to spend a great deal of energy trying to avoid physical contact with their husbands because they fear it might lead to a sexual encounter.

They frequently complain of physical ailments to avoid having sex and often try to avoid going to bed at the same time as their husbands. They view sex as a job, not unlike doing the dishes or going to the grocery store. Some women in Stage 1 claim they feel violated when their husbands touch them. Their bodies freeze up and they feel tightness in their chest and/or a sick feeling in their stomach. The majority of women in Stage 1 feel as though there is something wrong with them, that they are in some way defective. They are also fearful that their disinterest in sex will cause their husbands to cheat, or worse yet, leave them.

Stage 2

Women at Stage 2 experience reawakened desire stimulated by an encounter outside the marital relationship. Whether these encounters with a “new” man involves sex or remain platonic, women will typically give a tremendous amount of emotional significance to these encounters.

Many women in this stage haven’t felt any sexual desire for a long time. Many experience tremendous guilt and regret, regardless of whether their new relationships are sexual, merely emotional, or both. Most begin to experience what could be termed an identity crisis—even those who try to put the experience behind them. Constant reminders are everywhere.


  1. I think people are cheating themselves more than cheating on someone else. If you want to have multiple partners be honest with everyone of them and be single, unless you are in some kind of ‘open’ relationship. Don’t have a double standard like this post implies why do men feel they deserve a ‘good’ girl when they are not a ‘good’ man? Water seeks it’s own level.

  2. You can only speak for you. And when was the last time a happy person did unhappy things? Your point is what because no situation is the same and leaving is easier said than done for a lot of women in relationships unhappy but stay because of a million reasons that only one they know. Happy people don’t cheat plain and simple. Unhappy people do.

  3. Unhappy is not a reason nor is it an excuse to cheat. If the woman is “unhappy” she has 2 options other than cheating (1) Seek happiness within herself or (2) LEAVE and find someone that will make her happy. If cheating is what makes her happy because she is “unhappy” with her mate ===> NO GOOD WOMAN! :-/

  4. The reason’s behind creating varies. You can’t sum all women up as the same type. The main reason a person will cheat is simply unhappiness. We get into relationships with people who we get along with but our energy just don’t mesh well and we are not knowledgeable about the feelings we get or don’t get and we get confused. We love them but something just isn’t right and we know it. Sometimes you meet that person you know is for you while with someone else and make you decide guess your decision to be with the first person. Love is a feeling that is unmistakable when it’s real and any person that has felt it knows this. Cheating happens when 2people are together that should not be together plain and simple.

  5. Why would anyone want to lower their standards,
    just move on!
    Life has multitudes of choices & oodles of Beautiful Women!
    Ask, my Ex-Wife! :)
    I haven’t looked back since! :):)

  6. There is only ONE REAL reason a woman will cheat ===> she is a no good woman because a good woman will drop you like its hot and press on before cheating. There is no need to cheat on a man when the door is wide open to walk out and keep it moving. :-/