How to Talk to a Woman… And Not Run Out of Things to Say
Don’t you hate being tongue-tied? It happens to everybody. You go up and say hi, maybe buy her a drink, and then you just stand there frozen. You stutter, ask what her job is, and basically bore her to death until she awkwardly excuses herself. The good news is you’re about to find out three things you can do to always have something on the tip of your tongue to say to a woman.
1) Get in the “Now”
Most of the time, when you can’t think of something to say, it isn’t that your mind is too quiet, it’s that it’s too active. You’re in your head rambling over irrelevant things or panicking about what’s gonna happen when she gets tired of you squirming.
To reconnect with the present moment, start meditating twenty minutes a day. Also, read “The Power of Now” by Eckhart Tolle, or if you only have a little time, “Stillness Speaks.” Yoga helps immensely with this as well.
2) Learn to Free-Associate
Conversational vibing is all about spontaneously relating to both your environment and to what someone with you has just said. It’s always triggered by something that is around. For example, if a woman says she just got promoted, you may think of someone you know that got demoted over something silly. Or, you might think of a boxing “promotion” you saw on TV. Both are legitimate things to talk about.
If you want to get a stronger conversational vibe, practice free-association in your spare time. On your way to the club or date, look around. If you see chair, you can think “lounge chair, sitting, waiting, waiting room, chairs in church, sitting in movie theaters, who gets the arm rest in the movie theater?” and so on. Or maybe you’ll see a liquor store and think “drunk, bottles, coke tastes better in glass bottles, cigarettes are expensive, stores close too early.”
3) Read about things that are interesting to YOU.
Anytime you have passion about a topic, you can talk about it nearly endlessly. I once discovered a site that counts calories for you based on what restaurant you ate at, and I could talk about it for hours to anyone who would listen. You need to find out about things which drive your interest and make you want to share. Leave out any majorly controversial or uncomfortable topics, such as religion, politics, or violent crime.
If you’re truly interested in what you have to say, she’ll be interested in it too. I can be a geek and talk about Guitar Hero for X-Box and women will giggle and love it. Health and science news excite a lot of people too. One great source of news tidbits is the magazine “The Week,” not including the political stories, of course.
As you may have noticed, all these strategies require preparation before you actually meet the woman you’re interested in. So get started now! Getting in the “now,” free associating, and reading are things you can be doing consistently throughout the day, so it will be very easy to have flowing conversations when you want to. Keep track of your success!